i understand that my friends don’t wanna talk every day. i understand that my s/o doesn’t wanna be lovey dovey and super indulgent every day. lots of people need rest from performative emotions. all people need rest in general! it’s okay!! it doesn’t mean they don’t love me!! it’s not a judgement or punishment!! they deserve to take their rest, and they deserve for me to treat their needs with respect!
It’s not that you have issues…… it’s that you have a tendency to continue using instincts you picked up in childhood that are no longer useful to you on your journey towards achieving openness and intimacy and reliability in your personal relationships w others. It’s not that you’re defective or difficult or incapable it’s just that what you learned to do to save yourself from the experience of abandonment or rejection or ridicule or failure is not helpful here anymore and you need to start thinking creatively and collaborating on better ways to cope with that instrinsic fear that you are not correct, that you are faking, that you will be found out and left, whatever it is
I suddenly remembered an old taqueria that used to be in my grandparent’s neighborhood as a kid that had like Goku painted on it eating a taco (along with other 90′s cartoon characters). I have no idea if it’s still there (God I hope it is)
